The Bet
by Cat Kills Millions
Summary: Captain America bets that Tony can't be nice for one day. If Tony fails not only does his pride suffer, but he must also forgo schwarma for a month. Chaos ensues.
1. The Set Up

_**The Bet**_

**Chapter 1 The Set Up…**

Tony stumbles around the room,

"The drinking contest was not a good idea" Muses Pepper out loud.

"ggggggggfirjehghdjwdasopqwdijeawdfksnsehfdzjy" Slurs Tony.

"We are not getting a pony! Also you are not a fairy princess." Sighs Pepper.

"Why Pepsi-cola?" Reproaches Tony.

"Tony... What did you do?" Questions Pepper apprehensively.

"Why do always assssssumme I've done sommmething?..."

"Because you _always do_!"

"It all the Capsicle's fault... He said I was mean... Loki's mean... I'm niceeeeee. I told him ssssso too! But he didn't bellllievvvve me...

So we a llllliiiiiiitttle bet... A teensy one... Smaller than the IQ of all of Fury's onions! I wanna minion... Pep will you be my min...on...ion!?"

"I think you mean minions Tony... Wait what did you bet?"

"Why did I do it" He cries. "The poor schwarma! It never did nuthin to nobody... Why would Cap make me do it... ohhhhh bad phrasing... I swear Pep I'm all yours! Feel free to punish me..." Then he fainted...


	2. Incident Zero- The Explanation

**Chapter 2 - Incident Zero - The Explanation**

Sunlight poured in the window, burning Tony's poor, defenceless retinas.A smirking red-head stood by the drawn curtains."Get your drunken backside out of bed!You came back completely drunk and I had to cancel your eight o'clock. I also had to put you to bed because you fainted!"

"Oh god, NO!"

"You're dang right!Finally you're starting to take res-"

"THAT REPUBLICAN SINGLE-CELL ORGANISM!"Tony screeched.

Of course he wasn't taking responsibility.

"What did he do?"Sighed Pepper; did she choose a billionaire - philanthropist - play - boy - man - child as a partner for a long-term relationship?

"I made a bet with mister George Bush junior...or senior…the Cap."

Pepper was could get Tony so worked up?This was the man who had done just about every immoral, embarrassing and obnoxious thing on the planet.

"Pepper…"He tried to regain his trademark confident composure."...I have to be…"he took a deep breath, choked and finally managed to pit out the word as if it were bitter gall."...n...n...ni..ce...I have to be nice... for a whole day."

Pepper stifled he had been drunk.

"It's either that...or give up schwarma for a month!"

Pepper stopped without schwarma was worse than a girl at 'that' time of the month being deprived of chocolate...Oh lord.


	3. Encounter One- The Spy

**Chapter 3 - Encounter One - The Spy**

He had successfully avoided them so far. It had taken the half a class of super secret spy stuff that Fury had managed to make him take to do so. He had avoided his regular haunts and targets. He had hidden behind walls and in closets, but he had done it.

"Hello Mr Stark" Drawled a voice from behind him.

"Hello Super sl-… Tasha…. How are you this fiiiine day?"

"Either you've been drugged, replaced by Loki or it's for a bet. Which one? Roger right?"

"How did you know…."

" I have my ways…" Tony took a step back "I talked to Pepper."

"Suuuuuuuure"

"Something to say Stark? Perhaps a sarcastic quip? Or maybe a cruel comment regarding my loyalties or communism perhaps?"

"Coffee? Tea? Blood of fallen en-... Grapefruits?"

"Grapefruits please"

Tony handed her the grapefruit/metaphor for death and destruction-juice. She carved it in a smily face….. with a dagger…from her boot….…. Tony ran…. 1 down…. too many chances left to slip up. "Stay strong for the schwarma" He muttered to himself "One hour down, 15 left to go."

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WE OWN NOTHING! 'Cept a laptop. Also please review and send in suggestions. We accept criticism... *and praise* **COUGH not likely... COUGH*

Thanks For reading

-M

Every review we get, we give Tony schwarma so..DO IT FOR TONY OF DR DOOM WILL BLOW UP YOUR HOUSE WITH MAGIC!

-C


	4. Bruce Banner

_**The Bet**_

**Chapter Four~ Bruce Banner**

Tony made his way to the lab. He'd escaped the creepy spider-lady (no connection to that kid in New York in the jumpsuit, surprisingly), and avoided giving up his precious, chickeny deliciousness. For a billionaire, philanthropist, playboy he wasn't very eloquent.

However, a herculean task of goodwill stood before him: Bruce Banner, meditating. Like, incense, candles and a CD of wave sounds meditating. The brilliant doctor hummed in the lotus position, and occasionally muttered something about "inner peace". Tony loved his schwarma, but he was not a saint. "Hey Banner! "The other genius sighed, gritted his teeth, took a deep breath and opened his eyes. "Yes? I was trying to block you ." Tony realised what was at stake once again.

Shwarma had never hurt anybody (that he knew personally).Schwarma was innocent. Shwarma needed to be digested by Tony's rich, pampered stomach! It was the only fitting for such a wonderful thing to come to a wonderful end. Tony took a deep breath. "Ithinkyouareanamazinghumanbeingandamorethancompetantscientistandagodsendtothescientificcommunity,niceshirt."

Bruce tilted his head. He slowly walked over to his cheeks with his hands and looked right into his eyes. After a while he spoke.

"Are you high?"

Tony was not high! Not since '98! '98 was an awesome year. Everyone born in '98 is destined for greatness and all-round awesomeness. Tony frowned at the authors for their bragging. Tony realise he's not Deadpool or cartoon Spider-man and stop breaking the fourth wall." I broke the fourth wall in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang!" No, that was Robert Downey Jr! One: That was an awful movie and Two: If you break the fourth wall again so help me I will make this into a Stony mpreg! Tony came to his senses and continued on with the originally intended story arc instead of questioning things.

"I'm not high. If I was, would I have the common sense to come to work with people that I find-"FOR THE SCHWARMAAAA"...so intellectually stimulating?"

"You're coming with me." Said Bruce authoritatively.

"Where?"

"The glass prison we kept Loki in in the first mov-"DON'T YOU DARE BREAK THE FOURTH WALL"-time you came!"

"Bu-"

"Save it, Loki!"

A/N: Tony is in trouble...


End file.
